Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
