You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
