I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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