I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he thought i was a dude.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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