Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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