Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
