I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize