i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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