walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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