just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
