atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I think people are normalizing furries
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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