do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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