I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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