I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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