every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
