i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
