I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
