you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
