Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
