am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
