one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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