I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Alive.
So much puke
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Randomize
