The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
