great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
