There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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