My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
