Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
