I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think people are normalizing furries
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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