i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
