Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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