oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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