I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
