I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize