Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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