All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
