My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
