why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
you made out with another girl for some wings
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
