Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
