do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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