he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
