She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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