honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
