Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
