today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
