Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
