it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
