If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
