lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
