know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
