Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
