Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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