I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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