I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
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Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
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some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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