So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
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