Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize